All posts by Cindy

Cindy is recognized for her insightful, personalized writing style. Coupled with her experience as an abuse survivor and a divorcee, we are confident that her simple yet profound insights will provide a new perspective that contributes to positive change and encourage the reader along his or her journey toward restoration
abuse, conflict, divorce, faith, manipulation, marriage, recovery, religion

Cindy On The Radio Again, Discussing Marriage,Divorce and Abuse

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cindy radioActually we were both on the radio yesterday.  Well sort of.  We recorded two hours of discussion on marriage and divorce.  Cindy and I are both christian and on our second marriage.  In a lot of church circles this is not just a taboo subject to speak of but also a taboo thing to do.

Getting married a second time is just something that is not talked about in the church. Well during this radio show we discuss our personal stories of marriage and divorce.  We also touch on the subject of abuse in the church, which is our main focus in our ministry.

We sure had a lot of fun! Two hours was over in a flash.

I will post links as they are made available. In the meantime if you want to hear other recordings of Cindy discussing abuse, visit our website at  Hurtbylove.com

Sorry I had some computer issues and had to delete and re-post this article

abuse, conflict, divorce, faith, marriage, recovery, religion

Maybe I Was Married to An Abuser

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rape-marriage1I am basically the same woman I was ten years ago – when I finally divorced my abusive husband.  I think my kids and family and friends would agree that my demeanor, priorities and personality are not so different now from what they were then.

So I wonder at times why the man to whom I am married now does not make it a habit to condemn or criticize me, or refuse to help me with household responsibilities, or find it convenient to list all of the ways I have fallen short.  This man is so pleasingly different from my former husband; he doesn’t spend money we don’t have, or tell me that there is something seriously wrong with me or shake his head in disgust while telling me that his life would be so much better if I wasn’t such a lousy wife.

Continue reading Maybe I Was Married to An Abuser →

divorce, marriage, religion

A Redemptive Look at Three of the Most Commonly Misappropriated Scriptures on the Subject of Divorce (Part III)

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We have looked at two of the three areas where the Scriptures are often misinterpreted and subsequently misused to the detriment of those who suffer in abusive, neglectful and destructive marriages.  The case has been made that God does not hate divorce or those who are compelled to divorce with cause, nor was it Jesus’ intent to convey that those who legitimately divorce are categorically hard-hearted.

The third most commonly misappropriated Scripture seemingly finds our Lord identifying adultery as the only biblical cause for divorce.  This is perhaps the most common assertion in Christian circles.

Jesus’ comment, from which this doctrine is taken, is found in three separate places in the gospels.  The statement is found in Matthew Chapters 5 and 19 and Luke Chapter 16.  Matthew’s account will serve as our reference, and it reads as follows: Continue reading A Redemptive Look at Three of the Most Commonly Misappropriated Scriptures on the Subject of Divorce (Part III) →