Cindy On The Radio!

cindy radioBelow are podcasts from a radio show Cindy was on with Pastor Jim Wilson from praynorthstate.org

Be sure to listen and be empowered from the experience of these experts and survivors as they help walk you through the question of abuse.

Abuse Part 1  with Cindy and Ken White from a domestic violence shelter

Abuse Part 2  with Cindy and Ken White from a domestic violence shelter

Abuse & Divorce Part 1  Cindy and Maggie Fair, abuse survivor

Abuse & Divorce Part 2  Cindy and Maggie Fair, abuse survivor

 

The Church and its role Part 1  Cindy and Doug Burrell

The Church and its role Part 2  Cindy and Doug Burrell

The Great Awakening Part 1  Cindy and Doug Burrell

The Great Awakening Part 2  Cindy and Doug Burrell

6 thoughts on “Cindy On The Radio!”

  1. I have a slight different perspective on abuse from I’m over duration of lifetime upon her adult son who appears to b victimized into feeling it is his duty to be a “caring & loving son” to his mom & entire family while her verbal degradation & public humiliation has left him self isolated, voiceless, “why talk -I don’t care” allowing her to sabatoge his pursuit of happiness, confusing his perceptions & leaving him without any means of empowerment. He sets no boundaries due to duration of lifetime being in victim mode told “he’s an idiot & doesn’t do what he should do & hes lucky to hav a mom who brings him food” (which I’v seen isn’t fit for a 9 yr old -wilted celery center trash portion & 1/2 iceberg brown lettuce unwrapped in fridge!? He has no thoughts & he echoes her words,”I have a lot to do’ weekdays are no good for me!” The only work he’s earned little money for on his own at his current age of 48 , SHe stalked him, picked him up & dropped him off isolated & lonely & 10 days later he was allowed to work for the special bro moving furniture although he has titanium hip with a limp & in pain upon standing! She called me numerous times in beginning of our relationship to defame him by telling me he’s an idiot & doesn’t listen & can I find him a brain & he “has to do
    Wat he has to do caus NOONE wants him”! She distorts his reality into THINKIN he’s worthless so must be the “Cinderella servant” of the family
    Even bringing him the male version of clothes resembling Cinderella going thru his house & taking his mail & throwing out his favorite clothes making him wear boots that “dig into his ankles just the right way”! There are many more words & 14 months of him home either sweating due to brainwashed or punished if AC is on & cold in the winter! He grasps his clammy hand together above his head as if in bondage & is waiting to find out about work although he’s been offered several union opportunities (by friends of one!) but how dare he get ahead of himself!?
    I’v heard her demands in an evil voice making him jump to walk for hrs to put application in same places for over a dozen times?!) as if Pavlov dog & has no means to go anywhere due to rendering him totally dependent & obligated to mom! When I called to initially ask her to help him she said he has nothing caus no one Wants him then somehow tortures him & tells him,”she’s trying to hurt US!” (Meaning ME !?) iv tried reading him scriptures fr the Bible & how happiness & love doesn’t feel bad & he told me that’s how moms are? Each of the over dozen times she entered his house with her key, unannounced (to run back to kitchen once to check pots making sure they are clean ), she immediately yells pointing in his face calling him an idiot & he sits grasping wet hands looking at her as if in a trance then he eventually turns his back , lays down in fetal position & she smirks saying,”I’v gotta go !?” He later replies, “oh, that’s just my mom!” I am trying my best to seek help for him & hope u can tell me how to help him find his “true self” which I saw the 1st 5 months I knew him until his mom found out then the behaviors became progressively worse until he sees me as an enemy ?! I’v been researching a lot & I know for sure he’s being denied his unalianable rights to life, liberty & his pusuit of happiness” especially as an abused victimized DISABLED HUMAN! Please helP ASAP
    SINCERELY, susy

    1. Hello, Susy, and Happy Easter to you.

      The very sad story you relayed about the man’s relationship with his mother is certainly abusive and completely consistent with the abuse dynamic in every aspect. Yes, the man’s mother is toxic. The only way to not be contaminated by such people is to completely remove yourself from them. The man needs to get as far away from her as possible, perhaps not even telling her where he is for his own emotional safety. Time and distance are absolutely essential to healing from an abusive relationship. It can take months or years to do so, and an abuser knows how to tear the rug out from under us when we are just beginning to find safety and security.

      Abusers are all the same. Fear, confusion and isolation are the abuser’s primary objectives, inflicted using a vast arsenal at their disposal – shame, blame, name-calling, humiliation, raging, terrorizing, the silent treatment, neglect, emotional cruelty, dependence… and many others all working together to belittle and cripple their victims.

      I know this because I lived it for 20 years. Then I escaped and began to see the hell I was living in.

      Although my book is written to women, as they are my primary audience, I am confident that he would see himself and his relationship with his mother should he decide to read it – with one caveat: I no longer advise the victim to attend counseling with his or her abuser. It doesn’t work… My second edition, which will be reduced soon, will reflect this change.

      Your friend needs to remove himself from his mother, and the sooner the better. He is also welcome to e-mail me, and I will be glad to try to help him to get his footing in this terribly dysfunctional and harmful relationship.

      It is never too late. Never. Every day is a new day, an opportunity to do something differently to reclaim our value and our lives.

      Thank you for sharing.

      Feel free to e-mail me at my website address.

      Thank you for taking the time to share your concerns for your friend. Tell him for me that he deserves better, and he is under no obligation to live this way for one more day.

      Cindy

  2. I thank you immensely for replying to my post as I’v been searchin for help to no avail & was not only ecstatic to see a reply but even more impressed that you took time to show compassion from your busy schedule!
    He remains protective & speaks her words as if brainwashed but he says,”I don’t care!” , & doesn’t have a voice due to denial of a ‘voice’ throughout lifetime & seemingly fearful of torturous repercussions if independence & pusuit of happiness is discovered?!
    He doesn’t want go talk about my suggestions for his escape as I’v seen the powers she imposes of his spirit.
    I am also a survivor but ‘got out’ at age 16 which is 1/3rd of his 49 yrs!
    Please suggest how I may advise him that he’s worthy &/or what professional help is available in the Philadelphia, PA AREA. or how I can help him while I maintain my happiness & new career in psychology seeking my PhD
    THANKIN G you in advance for your anticipated prompt response !
    Sincerely, Suzy

  3. My friend , Kenny, tells ,”don’t read too much into it!” But then will say ,”that’s how everyone lives!” & at times his words are child like as if he wants me & my observations to disappear because he “KNOW NO OTHER WAY!?” & tells me that ,”il just join social club”!
    If you’d see the lonliness as if the character played by Dustin Hoffman in movie, Pappilon”, u’d kno y I feel a moral human ougation to get hm help if I hav to write the President of U.S as he’s VEK g denied his civil rights! I’v attempted to help only to go in circles & told Bj my friend , Kenny, ” it’s no big deal” ” I don’t need much ‘ & ” I can’t think ” & ” this is my life’s dream”?! & ” that’s just my mom-all moms do that !?”
    But then, as if his soul crd alive, he puts his arm around me & thanks me but feels awkward in public & naive in many ways ! His bahavior (@times is that of “Elf”.. Beautiful, compassionate, kind, awe inspiring yet fearful unable to commit due to confusion & torturous ramifications which horrify me …I just the observer/researcher/enlightened witness but he just told me that he doesn’t kno any other way as if on a merry go round?!?
    He wants help yet …?? Too complicated for me to put to words except…HE NEEDS HELP TO FIND HIS ‘true self’
    Thank you , susy & Kenny

  4. This is Suzy just an update that yesterday I visited my lonely friend & upon my arrival he asked me to pls hurry so he doesn’t see his mom but …too late & he got out of my car, ran to her, she immediately pointed finger yelling then they both told me to leave!? Police called me informing me that I’m not wanted there nor permitted on property…she finally got rid of me-his only friend & contact with outside world! Police wouldn’t listen to my pleas to help him! I guess I must forget about providing him hope for escape to seek happiness but I feel an urgency fearing for his life!!! What if anything could or should I do? Thank you in advance for your anticipated reply! Sincerely

  5. I have exhausted all hopes for gettin help for my friend Kenny as the police department aren’t abreast of damage done by verbal & emotional abuse over duration of lifetime by a mom & advised me that he’s fine?! Everyone that sees him can detect the confused social anxiety in his glazed eyes which causes him to act immature &/or inappropriate (as a niave chilled or arroganltly mad ?) since he is usually isolated alone home with nothing or no one but me & his mom who finally called police to keep me away! The police never heard of stockholme syndrome & how voice fr mom degrading, public humiliating & appearance of servant not permitted to ‘get above PICKIN up cans on the curb caus he’s told wat to do & it’s horrifying that the system
    cotimes to fail him! I am exhausted hitting brick walls in my efforts to get him away & help uphold his civil rite to lufe, liberty & pursuit of hapiness! He can barely stand anymore due to mom’s demands that he move furniture for important sibling although he has titanium hip replacemt!? She even has him doubt his feelings caus she tells him it’s not his hip & she brings him high top boots that dig into his ankles “just the rite way!” Making golf ball size blisters on his heels..+ walks hours to comply to her demands of going in circles! I can’t bear it any longer!
    If there’s any way of helping him get away & DEPROGRAMS him so he doesn’t feel worthless & can think (as I hav seen him hiding in there somewhere buried!?)
    If u can help or advise me, i appreciate!

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Help For Victims of Verbal and Emotional Abuse