Tag Archives: psychological harm

Seven Long Years

“Time, whose tooth gnaws away at everything else, is powerless against truth.” – Thomas Huxley

The above quote has become one of my favorites because I am certain that, in the end, the truth will be revealed.  I also know that some lies are served up so consistently and convincingly that it can be difficult to see what is true through the thick fog of deception, and there is no way of knowing how much time may pass before the truth is clearly visible.  It was for seven long years that such a fog succeeded in alienating my son from me.

My story is not uncommon.  I know many parents who have either lost – or fear losing – their children to a lie, and it is for this reason I have chosen to share this story.

After separating from my abusive husband, it was not long before he went on the offensive.  He began to offer up a fictitious history about our marriage, to plant seeds of doubt about my character, my commitment and my faith in the minds of those willing to listen.  He also used the time he spent with our four children to attempt to undermine my credibility in their young eyes. Though he urged secrecy from them, they would sometimes hesitantly pose questions to me regarding damning falsehoods their father had shared about me. The woman he described to our kids was someone I did not know, and there were occasions when I was put in the awkward position of having to correct our kids’ understanding.  It was heartbreaking to know that our kids had been put into a position where they had to choose whom or what to believe.  For the most part, I felt confident that the significant contrast between our former home life and the new life we had come to appreciate was evidence enough. Continue reading Seven Long Years