How Did You Brainwash Me?

Great post by Kellie Jo Holly at Verbal Abuse Journals

The effects of abuse on your thinking is summed up in one word: BRAINWASHING.

Don’t for one second believe that your abuser wasn’t smart enough to brainwash you because the ability to brainwash someone has nothing to do with smarts. Many abusers suffered abuse in their past and they learned how to do it through life-long examples. Many other abusers simply have no soul (sociopaths or psychopaths) and learned how to control and manipulate others at a very young age through keen observation skills. Still others learned how to brainwash enemies in military schools, transferred their marketing know-how into dark relationship skills, or simply read about it on the Internet. Any Neanderthal can learn how to control another person.

brainwashingLikewise, you are NOT some sort of idiot for succumbing to brainwashing. The term brainwashing is relatively new, but the practice is as old as the hills. Humankind has always known how to hurt and how to heal. Abusers target victims, in part, for their natural inclination toward healing humankind. Your great empathy, compassion and awareness of the pain of others is the soft-spot on your underbelly that abusers target first.

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Letter to Abusive Husbands (My Husband Wrote This)

Mr. Religious-Abuser,

My name is Doug Burrell, co-founder of a ministry that helps women who are married to super religious, super anointed, scripture spouting, pharisaical vipers who are full of dead men’s bones!

If you’re reading this letter, it most likely applies to you. Who in the hell do you think you are treating a precious gift from God the way you do?  I know how you play the game;  how you are always faithful in church and how you put on a great smile with everyone you meet. How you are falsely charming to everyone BUT your wife! I know you have the pastor and many others fooled into thinking you’re the next best thing since sliced bread. Well guess what? I know it’s all a lie! That’s right! You’re just a scared little man, afraid that everyone will find out who you really are. That’s the reason for the show. Your entire life is an act, and you know it!  News Flash – The world doesn’t revolve around you, and NO you’re not special at all!

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False Repentance

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When push comes to shove, and an abuse victim has finally had her fill, the confrontation with her abuser will almost certainly set in motion a new set of somewhat predictable responses. It is a crucial moment for her, because denial has finally given way to determination, and though confusion typically reigns, clarity is gaining a foothold.

The victim has reached a point where she is willing and able to openly contend that the relationship has reached its breaking point. She may confront her abuser in the midst of a conflict, try to choose the perfect opportunity to approach him, or pack her bags and leave a note on the nightstand. No matter how the issue is broached, the typical abuser is not usually receptive to being exposed, dismissed or ignored. The victim needs to brace herself; the game is almost certainly not over yet. He still has a few tricks up his sleeve.

In such a confrontation an abuser will almost always immediately question either his victim’s sanity or her resolve. This may come in the form of feigned doubt, shock or horror. The victim might hear something like this:

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Praying For The Right Thing

Does God always answer our prayers? It is a question that begs an answer. How can it be that the abused who seeks respite from his or her condition through prayer for years receives no relief?

Is it that God is not listening, does not care, or wishes for the abused to remain in their terrible condition? Or maybe none of those is correct. Maybe He is answering our prayers, but not the way we expect.

In the midst of ongoing heartache, for many years the consistent, intentional prayer of my heart was that God would open the eyes of my abusive spouse and restore our relationship to wholeness. Now the Word says that if I “have the faith of a mustard seed,” the mountain will be moved. So I prayed for more faith. And because Paul wrote that, “love never fails,” I prayed that God would make me more loving. I also believed that my prayer would eventually win the day because, “the fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” And in His miraculous name, I anticipated the ultimate, favorable answer to the singular cry of my heart: “Lord, save our marriage.”

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Press Release – “God is My Witness” making a case for biblical divorce

gimw1-150x150FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Cindy Burrell Announces the Release of Her New Book on Biblical Divorce

Author and abuse survivor Cindy Burrell is pleased to announce the release of her newest book, “God Is My Witness: Making a Case for Biblical Divorce.”

“After years of prayerful study, I am eager to share what I believe reflects God’s heart as it relates to a painful and seemingly settled subject,” Cindy shared.

A unique biblical exposé on Christian divorce, “God Is My Witness” takes the reader far beyond the traditional church script, tearing down the walls of legalism to lead the reader back to the passionate, personal heart of God.

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