In my conversations with abuse victims, the above phrase is something I can typically expect to hear.
It begins with “He* really believes…” and ends with:
…his way is the right way.
…I’m the one with the problem.
…I don’t understand him.
…I should just trust him.
…he is justified in treating me the way he does.
…I’m a lousy wife.
Does he really believe those things? If he does, then to my way of thinking, there are only two options. Either: 1) he is painfully delusional, or 2) he is doing everything in his power to convince you that he believes those things of you.
Why would he do that?
Many of us have been taught that, as believers, we are not to judge lest we be judged. The inference is that judging others is always wrong. If we don’t want to find ourselves judged, we should not judge anyone else. Ever.