Category Archives: emotional abuse

abuse, biblical divorce, conflict, divorce, domestic violence, emotional abuse, faith, leaving an abuser, marriage, physical abuse, recovery

Second Editions of “Why Is He So Mean to Me?” and “God Is My Witness: Making a Case for Biblical Divorce,” Are Now Available

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February 4, 2015                                                        Contact:  Cindy Burrell  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:                                            Hurtbylove.com

Author and abuse survivor Cindy Burrell is pleased to announce the release of the second editions of “Why Is He So Mean to Me?” and “God Is My Witness: Making a Case for Biblical Divorce.”

Burrell, the co-owner of Hurtbylove.com stated, “We have been successful in reaching thousands upon thousands of women in 42 countries since we hit the internet with the release of “Why Is He So Mean to Me?” five years ago.  We are eager to help thousands more to understand abuse – and find healing.

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abuse, belief system, biblical divorce, children, divorce, domestic violence, emotional abuse, faith, fear, God's faithfulness, Jesus, leaving an abuser, marriage, physical abuse, recovery, religion, unsafe home

Suffering Love:  A Redemptive Force or an Enabling One?  

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“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.”   heart pendant

Romans 12:9

As we seek to understand God’s way for us in the midst of an abusive relationship, there are times when the Scriptures can provoke us to doubt or fear the heart of the One who loves us.  The Scriptures indeed acknowledge that there are times when enduring harsh or inappropriate treatment serves as a powerful testimony and can bring glory to God.  But too often we are inclined to believe that, if we are suffering in marriage, we are called to pray, perfect ourselves to attempt to earn our abuser’s love, and hope for change.

But what if a hostile husband’s* behaviors have nothing to do with a lack of understanding, a difficult phase in his life, his struggles at work, or a traumatic childhood?  What if the one with whom you share your bed is an utterly self-absorbed, abusive – even wicked – man?  What if he knows exactly what he is doing, doesn’t care if you are hurting and uses your faith to keep you bound to him?  Does your commitment to sacrifice yourself to his will minister to him or merely enable him?  If it is the latter, you must ask yourself:  Is that what God would have me do?

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abuse, biblical divorce, conflict, divorce, domestic violence, emotional abuse, leaving an abuser, manipulation, marriage, physical abuse

The Face of Abuse

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This is what physical abuse looks like. See the pain, not only on the woman’s face, but also in her countenance. Verbal and emotional abuse cause just as much harm; it’s just that others can’t see the wounds and the scars left behind.

This Woman Took A Photo Of Herself Every Day For A Year. I Was In Tears When I Saw The Last One.

By sharing photos of one woman’s face over the course of a year, this video conveys a powerful message that needs to be shared. “One photo a day in the worst year of my life” was created by the Croatian government in response to a danger that many women across the globe live with every day. The harrowing message is made even more impactful by the sign the woman holds up at the end. It reads, “Help me, I don’t know if I will be alive tomorrow”. Warning: the video contains graphic images towards the end.

 

abuse, belief system, conflict, disbelief, domestic violence, emotional abuse, faith, fear, marriage, recovery, religion, terror

Give Me Five Minutes (Things I Would Like to Say To An Abuse Victim)

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Dear friend, I have no idea how long you might listen before you five minutesdecide to shut me out.  But what I have to say is important, and I hope you will give me just a few precious minutes to share what is on my heart.

What I need to say may change how you see yourself and even, perhaps, the course of your life.  Please consider my words.  My prayer in this moment is that you might give yourself permission to be completely honest with yourself.  Listen to what your heart says.  You will know if what I am saying is true.

You see, I know a lot more about you than you might imagine.  I know you think no one knows what is going on in your little corner of the world.

But I know.

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abuse, belief system, biblical divorce, conflict, divorce, domestic violence, emotional abuse, faith, fear, hostility, loneliness, manipulation, marriage, recovery, religion, terror, unsafe home

“No One Else Will Ever Want You” and Other Lies and Slanders

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drooping flower

“No one else will ever want you.”

It is as though he has taken a branding iron and seared the words into your soul.  Rather than reject them and recognize that the one who speaks is both cruel and a liar, you find yourself teetering on the edge of self-doubt, pondering the words, allowing them to resonate and take root – undisputed.

“Why would he say something so hurtful?  He must see something that I don’t see in myself.  What if I am truly unlovable, a loser, a failure?” 

It is a heartless deception.  Should you allow those thoughts to simmer, apart from a proper understanding of the abuser’s agenda, you may begin to accept and even believe the lie, if for no other reason than the one spewing the slander also has the audacity to tell you that he loves you.  It is somehow easier to accept that he is sincere than to believe that he is deliberately trying to hurt you – and therefore doesn’t really love you at all.  That option is just too painful to entertain, and that little crack in your broken heart allows his hurtful words to seep in.

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