“He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous, both of them alike are an abomination to the Lord.” Proverbs 17:15 It happens all the time. A victim of abuse finds the courage to step out of the shadows of her shame and fear to reveal the truth about what has happened to … Continue reading The See-No-Evil Disconnect: Abandoning Victims to Protect the Status Quo
“The integrity of the upright will guide them, but the crookedness of the treacherous will destroy them.” Proverbs 11:3 Part I Whenever there is something in your relationship with your abuser that needs to be fixed, undone, redone, created, accommodated, facilitated, or apologized for, just know that it’s on you to do it. From early … Continue reading It’s All On You: Part I and II
One afternoon less than a year into our marriage, I returned to our apartment to find my then-husband waiting impatiently for me in the living room. He didn’t waste a moment before severely scolding me for failing to turn off the stereo receiver before leaving home. He then launched into an in-depth lecture about the … Continue reading The Burden of Perfectionism
Upon separating from my abusive husband, a whole new realm of emotions surfaced: a constant fear of what new tactics my abuser might employ to torment me now that I was no longer within easy reach, fears with regard to the kind of future my children and I might face, and on top of it … Continue reading Misunderstood
“Strange game. The only winning move is not to play.” WarGames You may not even know he holds them, but the odds are good that, if you are in an abusive relationship, you have had these thrown at you more than once. They are trump cards. Abusers almost always have a trump card or two … Continue reading Trump Cards: The Abuser’s Game-Changer